Doesn't help...

I took a pregnancy test today just to see what happened and got a VERY FAINT positive on one of the early result tests. This test gave me a DARK positive when my HCG levels were low. So, either my levels are incredibly low or the test doesn't have much dye in it (I've read either are possible, not every test is the same even out of the same box) I just don't get how my levels can be so low when I haven't lost that much tissue. I suppose I could have lost the primary source that was pushing out the HCG the other day, the main reason for being pregnant, and I've been coming down from the levels since.

What doesn't make sense is the new nausea I have. Perhaps I got the flu???

I haven't thrown up at all, just everything I can smell makes me want to. I don't have a fever, I don't have chills or shakes. Just a nausea that kicks in when I think of food. I still have a "full" feeling in my lower abdomen, so I haven't lost a lot of tissue, my uterus is still full. It would only stay full if my HCG levels were up, preventing my body from pushing out the tissue.

Again I'm driving myself insane with symptoms that could mean nothing. I have to be patient for blood work which will tell me with out a doubt what's going on.

My levels rose from 47 to 137 in 3 days over a week ago. If they come back anywhere near those numbers, I'm miscarrying again (or wasn't pregnant) WHICH IS FINE - at least I'll know what the heck is going on. However, if I am pregnant again and didn't miscarry I would expect them to come back anywhere between 400 and 1000. So long as 137 has at least tripled it would mean pregnant.

I'm hoping it's as easy as that. I just need a number! Tell me what's happening!

I've been trying to explain to my husband why I'm so obsessed with this. He just doesn't get it, gets frustrated and irritated with me when I try to talk about it. Venting makes me feel better. The feeling of not knowing if I'm carrying something dead, alive, something that died over a month ago, not carrying anything at all, it drives me mad. I don't know how to treat myself. Again, the idea that I could be carrying something dead or alive inside of me is crazy. Or that I may be carrying nothing at all! I feel like my head is going to explode....